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If This Doesn't Make You Want to Shower, Nothing Will

Cardi B, beauty influencer. Photo: 2019 Raymond Hall

Cardi B is back to beauty influencing, and it turns out her body-care routine is just as down-to-earth as her hair-care one.

Earlier this week, the rapper weighed in on the great celebrity bathing debate of 2021, declaring herself pro-showering and anti-itchy. She then shared a bathroom shelfie to prove it, and it's chock-full of familiar faces you know, love, and probably wouldn't mind scheduling recurring showers with, as many showerers voiced in the replies.

This many drugstore gems all hanging out together outside of a personal-care aisle is quite the sight to behold. Cardi's got everything from shea-butter shaving cream to Vaseline in convenient cocoa-butter stick form. She even has kid-specific Epsom salts, which leads us to believe that Kulture bathes more regularly and restfully than some of her celebrity-baby peers do after a long day of carrying Birkins and telling time.

The contents of J.Lo's lengthy, partially diamond-infused beauty rider were tricky to track down, but there's a good chance you can get Cardi's entire haul the next time you're waiting for a prescription refill, if you really want to. Here's what you'll need:

• 1 Neutrogena Rainbath Refreshing Shower and Bath Gel
• 8 Dove bodywashes (1 Gentle Exfoliating, 1 Renewing, 1 Purely Pampering, 3 Sensitive Skins, and 2 Deep Moistures)
• At least 8 Dove Purely Pampering Shea Butter Bars With Vanilla
• 1 OGX Coconut Coffee Scrub Body Wash
• 1 Dr Teal's Kids 3-in-1 Bubble Bath, Body Wash & Shampoo Sleep Bath
• 1 Dr Teal's Kids Elderberry & Vitamin C Epsom Salts
• 1 Dr Teal's Eucalyptus & Spearmint Moisturizing Bath and Body Oil
• 1 Dr Teal's Restore & Replenish Pink Himalayan Sea Salt Scrub
• 4 St. Ives Blemish Control Apricot Facial Scrubs (which she uses on her bikini line, not her face, don't worry.)
• 2 tubs of Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion
• 2 Nivea Intense Healing Body Lotions
• 2 Vaseline Cocoa Radiant Body Gel Oils
• 2 Vaseline Cocoa Shimmer Jelly Sticks
• 1 Lubriderm Advanced Therapy Lotion With Vitamin E and B5
• 2 Lubriderm Daily Moisture Body Lotions
• 1 SheaMoisture 100% Pure Jamaican Black Castor Oil
• 1 SheaMoisture Coconut & Hibiscus Kids Braiding Jam
• 1 SheaMoisture Coconut & Hibiscus Kids Styling Jelly
• 1 Rifle Paper Co. + Venus Pure Honeyflower Shave Cream
• 1 Veet Sensitive Hair Remover Gel Cream (a Cardi classic)
• 4 Degree Dry Protection Sheer Powder Invisible Antiperspirant & Deodorant Sticks
• 2 tubs of Vaseline, the original healing jelly
• 6 or so moisturizing products of your choosing to fill in for the bottles we can't see clearly.

If this hydrating masterpiece of an image doesn't make more famous people want to bathe and/or shower, wash their legs, and thoroughly moisturize afterward from the neck down, I just don't know what will.